Do you remember when you were a kid and life was riddled with the three basic “times”: play, nap, and story? It was blissful and every night you could go to bed in your little worry-free cocoon of happiness. The best part was the friends you made and how seemingly easy it was. “Hey, you have Strawberry Shortcake mittens, me too – lets be friends!” That one little article of clothing was all it took to become best friends and a lifetime of sharing pogs, lunches, and secrets.
Fast forward to present day…
You have a job, you have bills, you have responsibility. Play time consists of you singing horrible kareoke and drunk texting a guy you think might like you so sending that 2am text message will surely confirm this. You still watch a few cartoons before naptime, but that’s only because you are too hungover to do anything else. Story time is reading this blog and your friends’ Facebook status updates, my how you have broadened your horizons. Making friends can be a little more difficult in present day because if you try to be friends with someone because they have the same mittens as you, it could land you with a nutbag.
However, the friends you do make now are much more likely to last because we are all adults and can rationally express our feelings and make solid decisions.
Right?
Wrong. So very, very wrong.
Friendships sometimes fall apart. They fall apart because two people have grown distant from each other and sometimes they fall apart because disagreements get the better of us and we can never reconcile. Sometimes they fall apart because of hot dogs.
Personally, I hate when I lose friends over hot dogs. I cant even tell you how many times I’ve looked back and said ‘damn, I wonder how so and so is doing? Stupid hot dogs.’ Absurd, no? Ridiculous, asinine, and illogical? Absolutely. True story though? Hell yes, but not directly related to me. Allow me to elucidate…
I had a friend call me the other day to fill me in on all the past weekend activities I missed out on because I went out of town. Admittedly this is always my favorite part of when either of us take a vacation because it allows the vacationer to realize how messed up our lives are back home and also how painfully entertaining it is when we are on the outside looking in. Anyway she reveled me on stories of getting hit on, the typical drama we see every weekend, and also the atypical drama that happened that particular weekend.
It was at this point that I was going to go into detail about the story but I feel the Reader’s Digest version is pretty accurate so it went like this.
“Friend found hot dogs at a store that her friend with a hint of benefits loved and could never find. Friend took picture of hot dogs and sent to slight benefit guy. Slight Benefit guy wanted to know where to find them. Friend didn’t know and was busy tending to other friends who were drunk and entertaining. This led Slight Benefits to think she was ignoring him and he got grumpy. Being the rational, reasonable person he was he decided that since she would not divulge where the hot dogs were found he would delete her from Facebook. He also deleted anyone that could possibly be tied back to Friend as a fool proof way of proving his temper tantrum was ‘for realz’. The end.
Moral of the story is: “Don’t value hot dogs over your friends, or you end up looking like the wiener.” Haha, get it?
