The Facebook Stereotypes

It is I, Kailey! I realize its been some time since I have jotted down my thoughts and for all 2 of my fans, I apologize. I would always get really good topic ideas on my way into work and then 12 hours later when Im sitting in front of my computer all I could do is play mindless games and surf Facebook.

Speaking of Facebook, I was perusing it this morning and realized that I have some really predictable and/or nutty friends on there. They full embrace the stereotype they have been labeled and make everyone else look bad. For example...

1) The Like Addict

You know this person well because they show up EVERYTIME you update your status. They never comment or provide any insightful thoughts, just a simple thumbs up and they are done. The Like button is tricky because you can either really mean it or you are just too busy to write anything so you throw up the 'like'. Which is fine, except if you literally like everything. At first I didnt really notice because she would only like a few things. Then she started liking my friend's status updates. Then my family. Now she has moved on to liking the comments people post on my status on top of my status! Its out of control and I feel slightly violated - all because of a stupid thumb.

2) The "Cool Story Jeopardy Contestant"!

For those of you who watch the Soup you know exactly what this means: someone who tells a story or a tidbit of one and you are left with an udder sense of confusion as to why they decided to share that. I also noticed that this person does not typically post their story until a lot of people have responded to the comment, thus maximizing the crappiness of said story to people who probably dont know them. Once I wrote "Man I wish I could sleep in every Monday" and a few people commented with their approval, and then Jeopardy came along.
"One time I slept in on Monday but it was because my power went out and the alarm didnt go off. LOL"

NO LOL! That wasn't funny, that was unneccessary and I refuse to laugh at that.

3) The Obvious Question Kid

This one is my favorite - basically that person responds to your comment by asking you a question that can obviously be answered by said status update. A friend of mine put up a few days ago "People ask me why Im single" and some brain trust responded back: "Wait, youre single?" No, Im just a compulsive liar about my dating habits, Im trying to cut back. Who asks that?! Or if you put up a hobby you are currently doing, like "Going to play the piano for Grandma" and you get back, "You play the piano? Rockin!!" Nope, I dont play at all, its just something cool to say.

Stop asking dumb questions people, youre making the apes look smarter.

4) The Overly Sensitive Facebooker

One of my dear friends falls into that category and I believe she embraces it to its full extent. This person gets offended if you detag yourself from that picture he/she posted of you doing a kegstand while wearing half your clothes or the one where you LOOK drunk, but really it was just a candid shot that failed miserably. These are not pictures I want my family, coworkers, or even friends to see half the time so please dont get offended that I am hiding my shame. We are at a point in society that we need to present ourselves well at all times because you never know who is watching, and somehow I dont think posting a video of Brazilian Fart Porn on my wall is going to convey that. So lets use some discretion people!